WHO AM I?
I am a house on fire with fever
waiting
for the breath of the Ultimate
to blow out the flame
I am out wandering in the woods
trying to get lost
hoping to be found by Eternal Peace.
I am a tear drop descending
into the Ocean
of Existence.
WHEN DEATH COMES
Let me go
like a slip across a slick floor
to tumble quickly into
one last moment of creation.
Let me go
with eyes wide open
and curious as hell
an exclamation mark
on my horizon
as I run towards it.
Let me go
into death
as though it were not coming for me.
This despair which seeps out of me,
spreading over the landscape
soaking into the ground of my days
permeating those around me
does not see the clouds drifting through a sky
painfully blue
nor affect the flight of birds
or sway the growth of flowers in the wind.
AN UNCOMMON PRAYER FOR AN UNCOMMON SENSE
There is a voice I will not speak with
a vision I will not see with
a touch
a smell
a taste
not mine, all not mine yet mine...
A sense that my common sense denies
though I sense it
within my eyes
my ears
the odors of my life
the layers of my trembling skin
I will speak sense beyond common sense
release the vision
a quake throughout my flesh
caress the rapture in silence
hear the rapture of that small voice
still insisting it will not be still
I will use my uncommon sense.
With the force of my will I would hold the leaves
gone to sharp reds and stiff yellows
on the branches
I would spread tears of sunlight across
a painfully blue morning sky
I would
if I could
let the leaves do what they should in autumn
let the sky be as it will
turn the corner of the season
and let voices adrift find my ear
let dreams find my sleep
let my will lie down inside my body
and become the rhythm of my breath
with the force of my will
I would relinquish my will
to Yours.
There
across expanse of sky
where day folds into night
There
where my heart caresses the hour
and listens for a sound reverberating
back from the future
a point where all ends, to begin again
movement
between, aside, not quite,
as life begets death
There
I want to be There.
The visions of the sublime
the rituals of smoke and mirror
awards and gifts and
hurrahs abundant
It's not the bells and whistles of my life,
it's the silence that gives it meaning.
I take stock of the crop the past year has given me
go into the counting house of my soul
I wander through the grains,
some soiled, some the delight of mold spores,
others dry and ready for the harvest of my blessing
for it is I who bless myself.
I give to myself the blessing of my life
by acknowledging my life
I give to myself the blessing of my life's mishaps,
pains, and difficulties by finding in each tear
and cry and moan a lesson to be learned
and then learning it well.
I bless my life by watching the sun set
instead of keeping it away from my soul
by smiling thank-you to myself
when I notice how others smile at me
by letting go of that grudge squirming around
beneath my dreams
by letting loving-kindness walk steadily through my actions
into my world.
Today I bless myself
by accepting life’s blessings
that flow to me, and through me.
The growth of thorns and underbrush
Wild roses and raspberries
round my muscles and ligaments
the bloom of dawn in my blood
the inhalation of evening in the hollow
chambers of my heart and the gray matter of my brain
Under the snore of a clouded horizon
all manner and demeanor of wind and weather
rises up from my loins
I am the sun as it ignites my neurons
the earth which builds the cellular membranes
the day and the night my consciousness
I am this life and it devours me.
Cold, like a heavy cream
coats the day
like a dream
distorts
the heart
yields a warning
stay alert!
To lie against ambitions,
to slumber in procrastination
promises a quiet death
stealth death
cold death
like a delusion curdled and sour.
I step into the day
release the guardians of my heart
go forth raw and naked
Tears, the sweat of my heart,
can flow as they may
Joy, the power of my heart
can flow as it may.
Love, the substance of my heart,
can flow as it may.
Boldly
I step into the stream of the day
release the guardians
the fetters
the reticence
of my heart
and let my life flow as it may.
In celluloid and sin
I will pardon confusion
in video with vice
I will forgive delusion
in the novelistic metaphors
of sorrows and of frights
I will understand the search for a solution
II these artifices of art
that assault and confound me
I will find a place to heal my heart
Searching among the embers
lending them my breath
I will turn ashes to fire.
Where love is weak, undernourished and fragile
each breath give me joy in the endeavor
so my heart may warm others
my light mingle with theirs.
We are the beacon fire on the he hill
stronger, brighter, more visible to others
to offer sanctuary and safety and comfort
when we join with one another.
ALL MUSCLES GIVE OUT WITH TIME
To relax the grip and grasp of the hand
it’s nature is to open
and when open to receive
the hand of another.
To live is to let go
by letting go I receive the blessings of life.
To relax the wanting and fearing of the heart
it’s nature is to open
and when open to receive
the hearts of others.
To love is to let go
by letting go I receive the blessing of love.
To empty the names and conceptions of the Divine
it’s nature is to reveal
and when I am open receive
I encounter the Divine.
To empty myself is to let go
by letting go I receive the blessings of the Divine.
Where is the night without the banshee howl of doubt
the cry of stars collapsing so tightly
they suck in all hope of light’s escape?
When is the dawn
and who will announce it’s blue as deep as the blood hidden inside us?
Who will articulate the exchange of deep for expansive?
Who will instruct us in the ways
to open eyes and let go the dreams?
I Wait for Your touch to raise me from my fear
I listen for Your words to clean my ignorance
I dive down into myself to find You.
How distant, lost in dimming stars, collapse of stellar furnaces, the eyes of night.
How sunken into the eternity of thought the pupils spun in darkness
what muscle the gray/green/blue/brown iris to enclose so tightly such secrets revealed only in the curvature of a glance
a desire askance the tender rim
almost sore, faintly red
as length of a lash, closing of an eyelid
is all that holds us apart.
No matter the depth of darkness, the deception of darkness,
the secrets of darkness,
the sun will rupture and reveal
explode, implore, explore,
and we will all be trembling with delight in the presence of a Unitary Universe.
In this hore frost of times
these days of molten spirit
when I, like a bubble, am
hurled against the thorns of despair
my heart heavy
and sinking
and crying out to You
I ask for strength to do Your Will
I petition for serenity
but only it find what truly matters
I ask for wisdom
but only to know Your love.
I need You, the source of all being,
to cradle me in Your arms
and let the universe be the lullaby
whispered in my dreams.
So still
in umber earth
my soul
would grow deep
into Thee
and heart laid bare,
beat given up to trembling,
would see
Light in all eyes.
I pray
to slay
my silly doubts
put out
all sorts of angry voices
Listen to silent sermons
heed inner commands
give up divide
and opposition
and separation
to grow deep and tall,
at One with Thee.
When the moon rises in the
corner of my eyes
night adorns my soul
as wind rushes away my breath
and wind chimes strain to untangle
my thoughts in it’s melody and song
I resolve, weary, yet I do resolve
to maintain the moment and let
loose the visions of future days
and new ways
this night, oh God, I seek sanctuary in the moment
my head at rest
on the beating of the universe.
Placing words of God gently on my heart
thoughts of God laid on my crisp heart
murmuring prayers and candle light shuddering
upon my heart
may the pressure of my need break open my heart
the words of God, the thoughts of God,
the prayers and actions for God,
sink down into my heart now wide open
to the heart of the universe.
(Oh heart of mine
hectic heart
crusted with tears
words of God alight
and crush my fears
oh heart of mine
break apart and open wide
to abiding calm
clear, still source of all.)
On the precipice of night,
I not knowing, not certain,
the wind abounds
and sings throughout the chambers of my heat.
I tingle deeply with the vibrating song of You
in my soul.
So where is night, and where is dusk and dawn and daybreak but carried to me by the wind?
I hear you rattling around in my thoughts
liked wind chimes tuned to a minor scale
setting all without and within to sway.
I tingle with the vibration of this song
and long
to hear the full glory of Your music
muffled by this flesh.
I am so moved, so touched,
so filled with the odor of joy and sorrow and joy…
And were I to step beyond
I trust you,
Great Wind to carry me,
to lift me
support me, sustain me
a feather resting on Your back.
The erosion of hours
the demise of stars
the squiggling of a worm through dark earth
soft season and hard frosts
wailing and giggles
sore sunsets salved with deep blue:
may all these things and more
give pause to
draw my wandering, unruly attention
tugging it, nudging it back
to find myself in the dark
the silence
the abiding calm
deep in Your embrace.
I will not wait for the noble cause
to clamor at my door,
to grab me by the back of the collar
and drag me off to victory.
I will not let the noble cause be lost
because I could not fight great battles.
I will let You push me gently but persistently along
until Your cause is won.
